The other day I had an interesting conversation about mental blocks that keep us stuck where we don’t want to be.
The interesting part here is not that we block ourselves. I think most people can relate, some way or other, to getting stuck into habits and beliefs that block them from the goals and lives they’d like to have.
The interesting part is how easily we get used to being in our own way, to the point that we’ll defend our ritualized behaviors like a pack of lions defending a fresh kill against hyenas.
This tendency to self-sabotage explains a lot.
Even well-meaning wise practical advice on how to escape our self-made prisons can be interpreted as a threat.
Even advice that you pay for from a trusted advisor, coach, consultant, or mentor.
As a coach myself I see this ALL the time.
People come to me excited to do this, that, and the next thing.
A week and a half later, they’re telling me they’re ready to quit.
This is why I throw up so many barriers and obstacles to new clients. Before you work with me, I need to know that you’re the type that can commit and follow through.
So many people are addicted to their own prisons and don’t even have the clarity or self-awareness to see it.
One of the best mental tools I ever picked up came from a creativity guru who called it structural tension.
Whenever you set a goal for yourself, there is a gap between that goal and your current reality.
Positive-thinking “Law of Attraction” gurus focus all your attention on the vision and ignore the current reality.
Contrarians, skeptics, and other kinds of loser haunting reddit ignore the possibilities of vision and give you only a pessimistic read on current reality.
Both of them live in illusions and falsehoods. Neither of them see current reality as it is.
Your current reality always contains a blend of limitations and opportunities. Genuine attention to How Things Are means honestly and accurately seeing both of these.
Put that clarity into contrast with your vision for the future and now you have a powerful source of energy to propel you forward.
This is where any change has to begin.
If you’re still stuck in the low-level consciousness of “what workout do I do?” you haven’t begun to tap into your own resources.
You haven’t begun to clarify what you even want to achieve.
How do you expect me, or anyone else, to guide you when you don’t know where you want to go?
When you can’t even tell the truth to yourself about your present situation?
All change begins inside, in your own character.
If you aren’t where you want to be:
What’s keeping you stuck?
Matt Perryman