There’s a secret I learned about communication. I’ll let you in on it:
If you want people to pay attention to you, then talk about their pains, problems, fears, doubts, frustrations, obstacles, anxieties, and villains.
Not MY pains, frustrations, and roadblocks as the writer.
YOUR current pains, frustrations, and roadblocks. The stuff that stops you from getting where you want to go and wakes you up in terror at 2:30 am.
The pains and frustrations are what derail us from the Golden Path to our goals, whether that’s a fitness goal, a business goal, or a life-time dream goal.
If you are prevented from moving, or even feel like you’re held back, then you can’t get where you want to go. In many cases you won’t even get started because it feels too hard, too much, and you have no clear action step — oftentimes because of a false assumption that’s keeping you locked in place.
The human mind fixates on negatives, and so negativity grabs the most attention.
Let me share one of current pains.
I want to help folks out with their body-transformation and life-limiting problems.
That’s allegedly what I’m good at, so I keep hearing. For 20 some years it’s been “Matt you’re so smart, wow I love your way of looking at this.”
I’ve gotten praise from names in the fitness world you wouldn’t believe, from Charles Poliquin to Bret Contreras.
Fine, stroke my ego. I won’t stop you.
But then when I ASK you what you need help with?
Crickets.
I want to solve your problems, or at least shine the flashlight down the dark hallway. But I don’t know what those problems ARE. I’m not a telepath, even if I can often read and project thoughts after a few shots of Wild Turkey.
Without feedback and questions from readers, I end up writing about what I want to talk about. Since what I want to talk about often involves obscure philosophy and big abstract ideas, this leads to even more crickets from the readers.
If I don’t know what you need or want, I can’t help you.
If I can’t help you, then I don’t write.
I don’t need to write blogs or emails or create a community to validate myself to myself. I already know all this stuff. I can get results, whether that’s a pavement-cracking deadlift or veins in my abs, and I’ve proven that for 25 years in myself and in others.
I do all my writing and thinking so it can help others get past their limits and frustrations.
But it often feels like I’m whispering into a hurricane.
Maybe you don’t care?
Maybe none of my readers actually have any problems or pains they want solved?
Must be nice. I’m getting into the best shape of my life and I still have pains and problems I have to deal with.
But it doesn’t help you at all. And it doesn’t help ME help YOU.
If I’m writing to a bunch of people with perfect problem-free lives, I’m glad everything is going well for you… but maybe you shouldn’t be here.
That’s not the vibe I want.
That’s what is frustrating ME lately and keeping me from building momentum.
Now it’s over to you. What’s the itch you can’t scratch?
If you’re on my email list, you can write in and let me know.
Matt Perryman