While sucking wind after sprints on the air bike this morning, I realized how blessed I am not to be one of those suckers who likes running.
Imagine spending this morning wrecking my knees and ankles so that I could tell myself I’m “getting in shape” while chasing an endorphin rush. Addicts are going to addict.
You know when I run?
1) There is a bear, tiger, zombie, or lady from the government chasing me
2) The liquor store is closing in 5 minutes
Otherwise, forget it.
Running is sad. I feel bad for all the overweight and visibly out of shape people that I see out on the road huffing and puffing their red-faced selves through a workout they clearly do not enjoy, all because they got the impression that running is how you get in shape.
The truth is exactly the reverse. Running isn’t how you get in shape. You get in shape in order to be able to run.
A subtle difference, but it’s crucial.
If you knew how many people I’ve talked with over the years who are screwed up all the way up the chain from their ankles to their spine, because of pounding their joints to paste by running, you’d burn your sneakers and disown your feet.
Some of these same people gave me flak and turned up their noses at me for spending my time training with super-heavy weights. Now they’re the flabby and hurt ones, while my own process continues delivering dividends year after year.
When an activity takes away more than it gives, that is an excellent reason to stop doing it.
If you enjoy running, have at it. I don’t tell people what they’re supposed to like. Endurance sports have their charms, I guess. They just aren’t for me.
The problem is with this false belief that getting in shape means running for hours and hours.
No it doesn’t.
First off, what is “in shape”? I see few people who run as their primary exercise who have either a body or physical capabilities that I’d want for myself.
I’m not against conditioning work. I do some kind of metabolic training in 2-3 specific workouts each week, along with a lot of walking outside which I don’t track. Sprint work is good for body and soul. So is walking outdoors.
Running is an ugly middle ground between productive anaerobic training and low-gear low-impact aerobic work.
My process focuses energy on either short-duration training with weights and sprints, or easy walking. Either all-in on high intensity, or easy as cake. No in-betweens.
If you don’t have a sport or hobby that requires conditioning for middle- or long-distance endurance, that’s how I recommend you train, too.
I don’t run because I don’t want to waste my time in the middle ground. You aren’t going hard enough to cause positive changes. You aren’t going light enough to keep negative stress from building up in your body.
Running is a poor use of energy and time if you want to look and feel good.
I freely grant to you that I am a weirdo who isn’t interested in any sports or athletic goals. I’m only here because I do want to look and feel good.
I expect there’s a lot more people like me than not.
They should all stop running.
If you’re lazy like me and want to make real changes in your body without taking up a second part-time job as a runner, you’re in the right place.
Click here and we can hate running together.
Matt Perryman