One of the biggest gripes I get from people who “wish they could get into the habit of exercising” is that they don’t like the discomfort.
They rarely put it in those exact words, but that is the sentiment.
Lifting weights, sprints, going out for a jog, or even a 15 minute walk is not enjoyable. It is a chore. It is not fun.
These folks are the most difficult cases and, frankly, I don’t have much hope for them to make the changes they fantasize about.
An attitude to life which values comfort above all else cannot create change.
Anything worth doing has a price tag attached to it. Lifting regularly, doing some sprints and easy cardio, and eating right have costs attached. In return, you get to look better, feel better, and move better.
You have to ask what is worth it to you.
What cost are you willing to pay?
Apparently a lot of people aren’t willing to give up that Net-flicks and cheap fat-carbs.
I take a different position.
I don’t say that I chase after pain, exactly, but a lot of days it might look like that.
There’s a mental flip that happens when you start to enjoy what you’re doing, when you’re doing that thing because you genuinely like it, and not because it will get you something else.
When you’ve got a positive direction, a purpose, a goal, an ideal, something that you love, the pain, discomfort, and punishment become acceptable. You don’t like feeling bad. You don’t want it. But you accept it as the price of the journey.
Most people are living in a different frame of mind. You hear it in the way they talk about eating and moving.
A new diet is a challenge. It’s a threat to their present way of existing. The discomfort of change is, to them, a problem to solve. It’s an adversary that must be defeated. This is where all the language about “will-power” comes from. This comes from all the talk about suffering through a diet, or hating your workouts. The only way through is force.
Here’s a simple truth that will serve you well if you understand it:
What you oppose, you strengthen.
And what does everyone do when faced with something hard, like new eating habits or a new exercise routine?
They turn it into the enemy to oppose.
Like the couch and the junk food are the default positions, and you have to go fight these unwanted things before you an return to your natural situation as junk-addicted couch fungus.
People live in this attitude and wonder why they fail.
They are giving strength to their own enemy by playing on its terms.
The above lines are exactly why “diets don’t work” has entered into common lingo.
It isn’t about the physiology of nutrition or the physics of calories.
The failure stems from a psychological, I would even say existential, misunderstanding of the situation.
Treating the change as an opponent to defeat locks you into the frame of the unwanted problem.
You are now reliant on “will-power” to make moves against the problem.
Force is your only option to make yourself do it.
Why do all that? The suffering is entirely self-caused.
Let it go.
Keep your attention on where you want to be. Where are you going? What does it look like? What’s your reason for going there?
Suffering always sucks. But suffering that you constantly battle for the sake of battle is of a different sort than suffering for the sake of what you love.
What you love keeps you aimed toward a vision of future possibilities and goals.
When you have a target that you care about, you leap over your own ego and its obsession with enemies and problems.
The pains transform into gentle reminders that you’re going somewhere that you want to be. If you can make that flip, the rest comes easy.
And if you’d like my help digging into your own mental blocks and leaping over them, I open up a precious few coaching slots once every month or so. You’ll need to be on the waitlist to apply.
If that’s of interest to you, use this link to get on the list:
Matt Perryman